jedipdx

Last Residency Posting

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 01:53:29 GMT

Sadly I think that this may be my last posting of the residency. I have a few highlights that I would like to point out.

1: the other night there was a gangsa dance party in the dorm (that was the theme). The cops came.

2: My friend the 60 year old woman that looks just like the woman from the Old Navy commercials, has decided to start smoking since she met me.

3: I was taking a shower in the dorm and an overweight hispanic cleaning lady came in and continued to clean, ignoring the fact I was standing there naked. She didnt even look up. If she had, I am sure she would have been pleasantly surprised.

4: Another student thought it was a great idea to take photos of her dirty underwear and hang them in the gallery (not the photos).

As you can see this is well worth the money. The entertainment value alone...

Oh and one more thing

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 02:02:49 GMT

A camcorder.

Help!

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 01:11:52 GMT

Hey all,
I am in the middle of planning a pretty large project. I will not begin to talk about it and become THAT guy. If you are interested I can explain. What I really need are a few items from some of y'all. Of course it would be a loan type thing. There may even be a beer in it for you provided that I have time to do something other than make "art."

1. Overhead Projector
2. TV's ( I will pick them up and drop them off same day)
3. VCR's (same as above)
4. Time. Can you give an afternoon? The scale of what I am doing is pretty big (understatement). I need help "setting up" spaces.
5. Spot light (photo lights will work)
6. A fashion mannequin (Christy?)
7. Childhood memories typed in a word document and emailed to me. Be serious goddamnit!
8. Mirrors of all kinds.

Did you bastards hear me?!!!!!

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 17:51:07 GMT

Read my last post. I said performance art! Come on! I am going nuts here!

Performance Day

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 17:15:54 GMT

Hey all,
Read my previous post about "the allergy project." It is probably the funniest and yet most tedious thing I have ever had to sit through.
I will give you a clue, today was performance day at VC. A day that I have been dreading since I arrived. This is the day where all of the intellectuals with no talent express themselves through modern dance, food consumption, public sex, and yes even bestiality. Wow. Art is dead. The most annoying thing about the day has been the "guerrilla performance" that has taken over the campus. This translates into a man dressed as a fish sitting in the toilet. The great thing? I am paying for this and I kind of love it.

VC

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 12:59:28 GMT

Hey all,
Hanging out here on this unbelievably idealic Vermont campus. It is pretty discusting with all of the trees, the cobblestone walkways, the fountains. The program was nothing like I expected. An hour into the program I quickly realized that this was some serious shit. To be honest, I have no idea how I got accepted into the program! Can you say 20 spots, 150 apps! For the first time ever in my life, I am not the art-star in the class. I am having the biggest kick in the ass. Of course really I deserve it. I haven't done shit with my work in years. These other people are incredible. There is a fellow student who just showed her work at the Whitney Biannual (the Wimbledon of the art world).

"Critiques" started this morning and I was reduced to a pile of steaming art trash. Compliments don't seem to exist here (a real policy I think). I have had days of humilation! My work has been described as "interesting" "uninformed" "insignificant". One professor even said, "with a degree in art history, I don't understand why you have not continued the dialogue that exists within the art canon. You know what has come before you, yet you seem uninspired to move foreward." Basically, she is saying that representational painting is dead. It is all about new media, neo-post modernism. What this translates into is basically naked cowboys eating pudding while playing the acordian. How avant-garde.

But I am having a good time. Miss you all.

Harry Potter

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 06:06:45 GMT

SO I bet you are all sitting at home cozy ready your newest Harry Potter. Well, it seems that the good men at UPS somehow forgot to drop off my copy today. Needless to say, I am no longer "down with brown."
Now I feel really pathetic because getting the book delivered was the only motivation I had for getting out of bed today. I miss my wife.

Another reason to hate summer

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 00:28:39 GMT

is that the park near our house fills with typical "NoPo" type people that I am slowly starting to hate. Do you really need to always carry around a 40oz with your shirt off? Aside from the constant noise of the ice-cream truck, I also have to listen to eminem and other assorted rap-crap at all hours of the day.
I would rather live in the Pearl or yes even Greshem!

Funny story, apparently our neighbor also can't stand looking into the backyard of a homo house. We had our hedge trimmed, that caused a giant hole looking right into our neighbors backyard. She found it necessary to stuff a blanket in the fence so she wouldn't have to look at my beautiful garden! I think it might also have something to do with my tendency to let the dogs out in the morning while I am still in the buff. Whatever. Hasnt she ever seen ass before? February can't come any sooner....then we will sell this shit hole and move into a nice meth neighborhood. Speaking of, does anyone have any extra sudafed?

Why I am such a loser

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 04:04:01 GMT

So here I am sitting in my own filth, when suddenly I realize that I haven't talked to a person face to face since Thursday night. It is entirely my fault since I haven't made any effort to communicate with the outside world. Here is what I accomplished this weekend:

1. I finished the entire 4th season of Quuer as Folk.
2. I almost completed the 6th season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
3. I installed a new light in our hallway.
4. I discovered that marshmallows and heffeweizen do not make a good combination.

I am so excited to start my new job tomorrow. Then I will have something to complain about.
Sigh.

Hedge

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 20:00:13 GMT

I am having major anxiety over my hedge. It is currently so big that it has started to push the neighbors fence! I have called many many people to come out and prune it. But apparently it is impossible to get someone to do this sometime in the next month! So by now you are wondering why I just dont do this myself? I tried! One day I took the chainsaw out and went at it! The next thing I knew, I was covered in giant red hives that stuck around for a few days. This is the hedge of Satan.

Hooray!

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 23:50:21 GMT

Well all, I just sold my soul! I got a job as the Director of Communications with a college here in PDX! PBR is on me!